Inazuma GO Tales: Eleven Jokes
by pikaree1
Summary: I present to you... THE GO (CHRONO STONE/GALAXY) EDITION. From Kirino being a demigod to Tsurugi being glomp-proof, from Yuuichi being a king to Fei turning into a rabbit, from the former Alia captains reacting about the aliens to Wondeba drivingGalaxy Nauts, I hope these make you smile!
1. GO

**Petal: If you think I own Inazuma Eleven GO, you're dead wrong. Because if I did, Akane would have more screen time, and Shindou would be her boyfriend.**

 **Akane: Petal-san's a nice person.**

 **Midori: *facepalms***

 _Joke 1_

One day, the team was trying to decipher their past lives by their present characteristics.

"Tenma was a dog," Aoi decided. "He's loyal to a fault." Midori nodded in agreement.

"And Shinsuke... Hmm... Well, he _does_ have that jump of his... and he's tiny as a bug..." The redhead squinted at him.

He squirmed uncomfortably. "What?"

 _In his past life, Shinsuke was a flea._

 _Joke 2_

"Commander! I have a technique I wanted to show you!" Mikado exclaimed.

"Well, let's see it, then," Kidou said calmly.

"KOTEI PENGUIN SEVEN!"

Kidou promoted him to captain on the spot.

 _Penguins are Teikoku's specialty... or perhaps just Kidou's._

 _Joke 3_

It was Halloween.

Kariya smirked as Tenma and Shinsuke ran away screaming from a zombie costumer. "Pathetic," he snickered. "Getting so scared when it's only a costume..."

 _"Kariya..._ " a ghostly voice moaned eerily. A spooky mist rolled in, and he thought he saw a shadow.

 _'It's only a special effect; it's only a special effect; it's only a special effect!'_ he chanted to himself.

" _KARIYA..._ " The blue-haired boy gulped. He couldn't even see Tenma and Shinsuke anymore. The shadow appeared to have a humanoid shape and was closing in.

" _KARIYA!_ " A slimy hand grabbed his shoulder.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed.

The spookiness of the moment was ruined when the shadow started cracking up. The mist rolled away, and there was Kirino, laughing uproariously.

"You-! But-! What-!" Kariya stammered.

"Vengeance is sweet," the pink-haired boy snickered. "You should've seen your face! Too bad no one recorded it."

"I did," Akane piped up. When did she get there?

"How-" Kariya started.

Kirino (having recovered from his laughing fit) smirked. "Didn't you know? Hissatsus can be used off the field, too." He slapped his teammate on the back with the mud-covered glove.

"WHERE ARE MY GLOVES?!" Sangoku screamed.

 _The Mist makes for good Halloween pranks._

 _Joke 4_

Once upon a time, the Raimon eleven had just seen a monster tear apart the soccer field. Tenma was sobbing. "How could it just do that?!" he wailed.

Endou patted him on the head. "There, there, it'll be alright." He pointed at Kirino. "Use it!"

"The Mist!" the pink-haired boy shouted.

Tenma continued sobbing. "Why did we have to get an infestation of moles?!"

Endou blinked. "That... didn't work out quite as well as I hoped."

Kirino shrugged. "Even godly power has limits."

 _Kirino is a demigod. How else could he control the Mist?_

 _Joke 5_

Once upon a time, some guys were hitting on Kirino. They were from a different school, you see, and they didn't follow the events of the soccer world. Thus, they cluelessly thought that Kirino was a girl. Poor dude. Anyway, Kirino had no idea they thought he was a girl (he was wearing the boys' uniform, after all), so he did nothing to correct them. But he did protest to going on a date with of of them!

"No, I won't," he protested. "Sorry, but I already have someone I'm interested in."

The ringleader of the boys sorted derisively. "What, that guy you were with earlier?" He was referring to Shindou, who Kirino had been hanging out with at the moment the boys had spotted him. "He isn't worth your time. I mean, the guy's hair is like a girl's. How stupid is that? And I hear he's some piano genius or something. How girly. No, what you need is a real man." He flexed his muscles.

Kirino had finally realized that he'd been mistaken for a girl, and he was now twitching violently for three reasons: an insult to him, an insult to his best friend, and an insult to pianists. Of course, the insult to him was the main reason.

 _Kirino's femininity knows no bounds._

 _Joke 6_

Kirino was about to yell at the boys when suddenly...

" _You insulted Shin-sama_..."

Kirino didn't know when, he didn't know how, but Akane had suddenly shown up.

"Yeah, what's it to ya?" the guy sneered.

Akane let her camera do the taking. Pictures of the guy being beaten up by a girl... A video of the guy running from a frog screaming like a girl... A picture of the guy vandalizing property...

"Blackmail," the brown-haired manager said simply with an innocent smile.

The group of boys ran away.

 _Akane's camera is useful for more than just recording the soccer club..._

 _Joke 7_

Kirino shuddered. _'She's a demon...'_ "When did you get those pictures of them?"

Akane just smiled and changed the subject. "But _do_ you have a crush on Shin-sama?" she asked. "If I have that much on total strangers, think how much blackmail I have on you..."

Kirino shuddered again. "No. Never have, and if the were ever a chance I would, it's destroyed now."

 _Akane looks so innocent, but do not let that sweet smile fool you. She is utterly devoted to her Shin-sama._

 _Joke 8_

Once upon a time, Shuu dropped by for a visit. Don't ask how he managed to leave the island, because I won't have a good reason.

Anyway, he was staying with Tenma and Aki at Kogarashi manor. It was dinner time.

"What's wrong, Shuu? You're not eating," Tenma noted.

Shuu smiled eerily. "Oh, it's not that I'm NOT eating... It's just that I CAN'T..."

Tenma gulped. That sounded ominous.

 _Shuu is a poltergeist. I thought we had already established that fact when he disappeared on the island?_

 _Joke 9_

Once upon a time, Gouenji returned home to find he had received a letter and a package.

 _"Dear Gouenji-kun,"_ it read, _"I made some rice balls for you, so will you please explain what your objective in all this is? -Endou Natsumi."_

Gouenji sat in silence for a while. Yuuka was the one to break it. "It would be rude not to eat it when she took the time make it for you," she pointed it out.

Gouenji gulped and prayed that the former manager's cooking was better now.

It wasn't.

The next day, Natsumi received a letter detailing everything that could possibly help the Resistance and a plea to never send rice balls ever again.

 _As always, Natsumi's cooking is useful for persuasion._

 _Joke 10_

Once upon a time, Tenma and Shinsuke tied up Tsurugi while he was asleep. Stepping back a few paces, they charged at him for a double glomp.

They ended up crashing into each other and the rope. Tsurugi sleepwalked away back to his house.

"Experiment success," Tenma sighed, rubbing the bump on his head.

 _Tsurugi is glomp-proof._

 _Joke 11_

Hiroto and Midorikawa snuck into the building. They stealthily navigated their way through its hallways before finally ending up in a room with a large computer.

"Found it," Hiroto whispered, plugging a flash drive in as Midorikawa speedily hacked into the system. When they were done, alarms suddenly went off.

"Gotta destroy the evidence!" Hiroto declared. "Our fingerprints are all over it! TENKUU OTOSHI!"

Midorikawa sweatdropped. "That was a bit much, don't you think?"

With the mission successful and the evidence destroyed, the two fled the scene.

 _When Kidou said the new CEO of the Kira company was known for efficiency, perhaps this is what he meant._

 _Joke 12_

"How did they get footage of our training for Fire Tornado Double Drive?!" Tsurugi demanded. "Isn't that an infringement of privacy rights or something?!"

Tenma nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's right!"

Sasuke wagged his tail.

A man hiding in a bush gave the dog a thumbs-up.

 _Sasuke is a spy._

 **Tenma: Sasuke?!**

 **Tsurugi: *outraged* Tenma, control your dog!**

 **Petal: ...Welp. Please review!**


	2. Chrono Stone

**Petal: DON'T OWN IE GO CHRONO STONE SEE YA LATER! *zooms off to study***

 _Joke 1_

Shindou wanted to get everyone back on the team, so he decided to start with Kirino. He arranged for the pink-haired boy to have a soccer match with Kariya. The two were against it at first, but after Kirino accidentally kicked the ball, they kept trying to one-up each other and ended up rejoining the team at the end. Shindou smiled proudly at his success.

 _Kirino and Kariya's rivalry overrides the mind control._

 _Joke 2_

"We're never gonna do this, are we," Aoi sighed miserably.

"Sorry..." the rest of he group apologized.

They heard a snort. "You guys are pathetic." They turned around to see Tsurugi.

"You think we're so bad, you try it!" Nishiki and Wondeba demanded.

Tsurugi gracefully danced the whole thing perfectly.

They were all silent.

 _Dancing was a part of the SEED training program._

 _Joke 3_

"No!" the interviewer declared.

Shindou glared at Nishiki with a look-what-you-did face. Then he decided it was time to use their secret weapon.

He pushed Kirino, dressed full in drag, in front of him.

That day was a day of firsts. The day Kirino was crossdressed for the first time (which is shocking- has he no mother? No sister?). The day Shindou was almost beaten to death by his best friend for the first time. The day Tenma, Shinsuke, Aoi, and Tsurugi saw Kirino's violent side for the first time.

 _Kirino is just very feminine, alright? He should most definitely have been in that episode and crossdressed._

 _Joke 4_

They were in, but Nishiki and Wondeba started their future dances. The rest of the team looked on in horror, thinking, _'What have they done?'_

To the shock of them all, Nobunaga started clapping.

 _The eccentric strategist would have been very fascinated by Nishiki and Wondeba's strange dancing._

 _Joke 5_

"No! Don't attack!" Jeanne exclaimed.

The group's hearts leaped hopefully.

"I refuse to hurt women and children!" the Frenchwoman continued, pointing directly at Kirino.

Kirino looked very disappointed. "I'm a guy!" he complained.

Jeanne blinked. "Eh?" She adjusted her glasses but came up with nothing.

 _No matter where Kirino goes, he will always be mistaken for a girl._

 _Joke 6_

"Kirino-senpai, I have a question," Tenma said after the match.

"What?"

"Now that you've Mixi-Maxed with Jeanne, are you a guy or a girl?"

"..."

"He's still a he. ...I think."

 _Some things are best left unsaid._

 _Joke 7_

Kongming released her Keshin.

Liu Bei ran straight back down the mountain and returned with his net cannon.

Everyone's jaws dropped. Even Kongming looked slightly alarmed.

"And... FIRE!" he shouted, setting the wick ablaze.

The end result was the disappearance of the Keshin and a very irate Kongming.

 _When Liu Bei puts his mind to something, he does it._

 _Joke 8_

"This our best team, Perfect Cascade!" Sakamaki declared dramatically, motioning to the players. "And this is the captain, Ray Rukh!"

"Hello, my name is Delta," a boy with normal-shaped eyes and long hair said cheerfully.

Sakamaki was silent for a moment before contacting headquarters.

"No point in doing things half-baked," was Toudou's calm reply. "Epsilon's waiting in the wings just in case, though someone sent her a long scroll saying something about a lawsuit..."

 _They should have gone through every letter in the alphabet._

 _Joke 9_

"Mixi-Max time!" Wondeba shouted, pointing the guns at Okita and Tsurugi.

Just as the beam of Okita's aura was about to hit the blue-haired striker, Midori appeared from out of nowhere and pushed him out of the way, making the beam hit her.

Wondeba jaw-dropped.

Tsurugi glared.

Okita blinked confusedly.

Midori just fangirled.

 _Midori should not have given up the chance to be Mixi-Maxed with her idol._

 _Joke 10_

When Tenma, Fei, and Wondeba arrived at the castle, they saw King Arthur.

"What's going on?" asked a bewildered blue-haired teen.

Or rather, King Yuuichi.

"This trip was a waste of time," Tsurugi grumbled.

 _If Tsurugi Kyousuke, having Lancelot as his Keshin, is a knight, it only makes sense that Tsurugi Yuuichi, having Pendragon as his Keshin, would be a king._

 _Joke 11_

"You leave me no choice," Fei sighed after Saru turned into a monkey.

Then the green-haired boy turned into a rabbit, much to the shock of the other strongest ten in history.

"I thought you'd say that," Zanark said. No one listened.

Then Duck turned into a duck, Sheep turned into a sheep, Vanfeny turned into a bat, Garsha turned into a wolf, and so on.

 _The true power of the Second Stage Children is that they are weres._


	3. Galaxy

**Petal: I don't own Inazuma Eleven.**

 **Shindou: Thank God...**

 **Petal: If I did, Best vs. Battle would've been way longer, and Hiroto would've spiked up his bangs when he was Gran.**

 **Hiroto: But then I'd look like a pale, red-haired Gouenji-kun...**

 **Exactly! 8D**

 _Joke 1_

Shindou was not happy. He was not happy at all. He glared at Ibuki once again.

"What?!" the failure as a goalkeeper demanded.

"I hate you. You and all your kind," Shindou hissed ominously. Then he stomped away, leaving behind a bewildered and more than slightly angry Ibuki.

That night, Shindou Skyped Kirino. "...And the keeper is a basketball player of all people! A basketball player!" the brunette ranted.

Kirino sighed. "Shindou, why do you hate basketball players so much?" he asked tiredly.

The answer was simple.

" _They make me feel so short_..."

 _Shindou is sensitive about many things, but his height is near if not at the top of the list._

 _Joke 2_

"I don't have time for your jokes," Gouenji said impatiently. "If it's aliens you want to talk about, go talk to Kira Hiroto."

Ozrock teleported away but came back five minutes later sporting a nasty bruise. "He didn't seem very happy to hear the story..."

Gouenji just blinked.

 _Naturally, aliens bring back certain bad memories to Hiroto..._

 _Joke 3_

"Let Gouenji do it, papa," Touko said, walking into the room.

"But why?" Zaizen asked, surprised.

Touko rolled her eyes. "With the moon gone, there are no waves, and Tsunami won't stop complaining about it. This problem needs to be fixed, and it needs to be fixed now."

 _There must have been a very logical reason for the prime minister to take it all in stride and give in to Gouenji's request._

 _Joke 4_

"Did you know that the tournament for FFI V2 was actually the prelims of a tournament against aliens to save Earth, and Inazuma Japan is apparently the Earth Eleven?"

Kariya's flippant remark over breakfast elicited mixed reactions.

Hiroto spat out his coffee.

Midorikawa's hands hit his laptop's keyboard a little too hard. Okay, way too hard.

Reina's knife went straight through the cutting board.

Outraged, Nagumo and Suzuno glowered and shouted, "That's _our_ shtick!"

Saginuma started muttering under his breath in an archaic form of Japanese.

Hitomiko slammed a bowl of rice in front of the prankster boy. With an overly sweet smile, she said, "That's nice, Kariya-kun. Now eat your breakfast and go to school. _Now_."

Kariya gulped and wondered what was wrong with them all.

 _If Level 5 was smart, they would have shown the reactions of the former Aliea Academy. It would have been very amusing._

 _Joke 5_

"...Hello," Hikaru said awkwardly.

"Was this also within your predictions, Kuroiwa-kantoku?" Mizukawa asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kageyama coughed. "...No. I only expected Nishizono to stow away."

Hikaru frowned. "But we never got to do any uncle-nephew bonding time when I was little, and then you died! What better chance to catch up on it than going into space?"

Mizukawa glanced between the two Kageyamas, waiting to see how the older would react.

"...Fine, but don't tell your mother," Kageyama sighed. She's scary when angered..."

 _Hikaru's mother scares her brother-in-law._

 _Joke 6_

The Earth Eleven was having breakfast. Zanakurou was the last to show up.

"Morning, Zanakurou!" Tenma said cheerfully.

Zanakurou smirked. "I thought you'd say that!"

Tenma blinked confusedly. "Eh?"

"I am not Zanakurou!"

"...EHHHHHHHH?! Then who are you?!"

"I am a member of the lower middle class without a name!"

He stood waiting for their response.

"That sounds very familiar..." Shindou muttered.

"But from where...?" Tenma wondered.

"It's Zanark," pointed out the Tsurugi imposter.

"...EHHHHHHHH?!"

"What, you forgot about me that quickly?!" Zanark demanded furiously.

Zanakurou walked in. "Will someone please explain why there's a talking blue teddy bear and a rabbit boy in my room... Wait, who's that?"

 _They are all idiots, and Fei and Wondeba should have shown up._

 _Joke 7_

"Everybody ready?" a familiar voice asked.

Kageyama was shocked. This was not the robotic voice he had programmed, nor was it the conductor.

"Three... Two... One... SPACE JUUUUMP!"

"WONDEBA?!"

"WILL YOU GUYS PLEASE EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO THE REST OF US!"

 _Wondeba should have driven the space train... He drove the time bus, so why not the space train?_

 _Joke 8_

"And there's someone else here besides just us," Kurama said.

And who should make his way to the front but Yuuichi. "Is Kyousuke there? Can I speak to him?" he asked.

The imposter was sweating profusely as he was pushed in front of the screen. He forced a smile. "Hey, nii-san. How are you?"

Yuuichi frowned. "I'm fine, thanks... Kyousuke... Since when are your eyes purple? And what's with the dark circles under them? Have you been getting enough rest? Or is that eye shadow? And... why are your ears pointy now?"

The imposter had a steady stream of Falam Orbian expletives running through his mind as everyone on the team suddenly decided to take a closer look at him.

 _The imposter must be the supreme king of good luck in the actual show._

 _Joke 9_

"Tsurugi... It's you, right? It's really you?"

Tsurugi smirked and prepared to dramatically throw off his cloak.

"TSURUGIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Unfortunately, he didn't get the chance to, for Tenma and Shinsuke headed in to double glomp him. He had to dodge, and by then the effect was ruined.

He tried to salvage it. "You may not want to accept this, but-"

"TSURUGIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" They tried to glomp him again.

 _If forced to choose between being the king of avoiding glomps and his dramatic I-am-the-captain-and-ace-striker-of-the-Falam-Orbius-team reveal, which would Tsurugi choose?_

 _Joke 10_

"I'll resurrect it right here and now! Great Max Na Ore! SUUUUUPAAAAAAAA!"

Zanakurou's foot slammed into the ball, scoring the Earth Eleven another goal.

Tenma blinked. "Isn't that technique..."

Suddenly, a guy on a motorbike came roaring into the stadium. "THAT'S MY TECHNIQUE, OLD MAN!" he shouted.

Zanakurou blinked in shock. Whether it was the fact the other looked almost exactly like him or the fact he had just been called an old man, nobody knows.

"ZANARK?!" Tenma, Shindou, Shinsuke, Aoi, and Tsurugi yelled.

 _Great Max Ore Super has been revived, but it is confusing. Revived because Zanark showed up first? Or invented because Zanakurou was born first? In any case, Zanakurou's inner Zanark had fun with that match._

 _Joke 11_

"Kusaka-san! It's a boy! You're a godfather!" shouted the one who helped dig Banda Junior out of his father's grave. "...Kusaka-san?" Unfortunately, the newborn's godfather was not familiar with the customs of the planet and had already left.

 _Kusaka did not stay to raise his godson. Shame on him._


End file.
